To Find True Love

As I open my eyes to embrace the day, he rolls over into my arms. 

He nuzzles his head into my neck and rubs his eyes to awaken. 

He is the most beautiful boy I have ever laid eyes on and I get to wake up to him every day. 

As he puts his hand on my cheek, my breath slows. 

As he stares at me with his majestic, dark eyes, my heart skips a beat. 

And when he smiles that unbelievably perfect gap-toothed smile, I know what love truly is. 

He is my son. And I am his mother.

No love can compare to this. 

Written By: Abigail Kelley 

© All rights reserved, 2014

When You're With Them, Be WITH Them.

"This has got to be one of the hardest habits for me to break."

let me start off by saying, i love my son more than anything. he is my world. but being 10 months old, sometimes he's not all that "exciting" to be around. I'm not the kind of mom who sits and plays with her baby all day long, 24/7. he has his alone playtime, and i have mine. but when i AM playing with him, i am noticing more and more that I'm not actually WITH him. This has got to be one of the hardest habits for me to break.

Computers, Social Media, iPhones, TV's... yes, we love all of these things and sometimes, being a SAHM these things mean our sanity. but how often are we using these things when we should be with our children?

i am SO guilty of this! When I'm playing with Oliver and he's not being the best "entertainer," i find myself pulling my phone out of my pocket and going on Instagram or checking my Facebook. i figure, "Well I'm still in the room; I'm still sitting on the floor next to him; that works for our "together time."

NO WAY!

when you're with you children, be WITH them.

this has been very hard for me to learn but it is SO important to remember.
it is extremely easy to turn on the TV for you or your child so it makes your playtime with them easier. or to sit your baby down on the floor and check your e-mail or Facebook.

sometimes i even find myself taking pictures of Oliver being cute (as usual) and it's totally harmless, but when i sit there for ten minutes editing the picture and posting it on my Instagram and then continuing to scroll through my news feed... that's when it becomes wrong.

one day i was feeding him his breakfast and he was taking forever to chew each bite (even though he has no teeth yet) so i pulled out my phone and started scrolling through my news feed to waste time while Oliver was chewing. he then grunted and took my phone out of my hands and threw it on the ground. MY 10 MONTH OLD!!

yeah, that hit me hard!

since i don't dedicate my ENTIRE day to playing with my son one on one, i OWE him my full attention for that one hour. at LEAST!

just some food for thought. i'm not saying get rid of your phones or TV, (those things come in HANDY when you're a parent.) I'm just saying to take an hour out of your day and leave your phone in another room and keep the TV off and just play with them. (or talk, if your kids are older)

Much Love
xoxo,

Remember: "You're A Good Mom"

I recently commented on a post from a dear Instagram mom friend. she basically feels like she isn't a good enough mom to her baby boy and that she constantly compares her life to other "super-moms" on Instagram saying, "I'm not good enough, I'm not as good of a mom..." and, me, having a lot to say on the matter, commented a novel to her. ha. 

well, here are my thoughts on that...

I think, if you're comparing your life to other mom's, you're a good parent. now, I'm not saying that it's GOOD to compare yourself, or that it's necessarily RIGHT; I'm just saying that if you are, then you must want to do better. and being a parent, you can always try to do and be better. Your children are worth it. they deserve to have the BEST version of you all the time. 

Though, comparing yourself isn't always a good thing. you can look at other moms and how they raise their children and aspire to be like them... but if you are constantly comparing yourself to them by means of cutting YOURSELF down, then i think that's detrimental to your self-esteem, your confidence in your parenthood an yourself as a person. you can aspire to be "like" someone else without getting down on yourself.

So don't "compare" your life to someone else's, but use them as an "inspiration" for you to do better. 

I find myself comparing my life and my style of parenting to other moms ALL the time. now, it's not just moms i know in person, but mostly moms i follow on sites like Facebook or Instagram. i see these photos or status updates they post and i think, "wow, their life is perfect!"

CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP!!

yep, that's all crap.

no one's life is perfect. see, comparing my life to someones Instagram life is pointless. people only post the photos of the happy moments in their lives. or the pictures where mom and baby are smiling, or doing activities together or playing, etc. no one posts what actually happens in their home. that mom you so desperately want to be like, well she isn't going to stop to take a picture of the time she bangs her baby's head on the door jam. or the moments where she hides in the bathroom, leaving baby to fend for himself, praying he won't get into anything TOO dangerous. or when her and her husband are fighting and screaming profanities at each other. or even the times when she wasn't sure how to properly feed or take care of her baby. 

see, people only post photos of their "highlight-reel" of life. the moments that bring a smile or laugh to someone. not the knitty-gritty things you don't want anyone to know about. 

If you are someone who gets down on yourself for not being a "good enough mom" or not being able to be "like someone else," remember that the person you're trying to measure up to, has faults too. you just can't see them. (ESPECIALLY on social media.)

if you look at my Instagram feed, (located on my home page) you'd think my life is pretty perfect. but all those above things i mentioned... those are MY mom experiences. (some of the better ones. ha) i sugarcoat my life online just like anyone else. 

there is a VERY high possibility that the Instagram mom you wish you could measure up to, is most likely thinking the same thing about your "highlight-reel" and wishing she could have your perfect life. 

Just remember, you ARE a good enough mom. just do what you believe is right and try not to get down on yourself. if you're doing the best that YOU know how to do, then that's where you need to be. 

xoxo,

Oliver's Birth Story

I figured i'd write about the day my son was born. one of the happiest days of my life.

It was a rainy April day in 2013 and we rushed into the hospital, trying to fight the inevitability of becoming drenched. It was around 3:00 pm when we got there. As they called us back to triage, I looked as my husband anxiously and we both smiled. We knew that this very well could be the day we would have our child. After monitoring me for almost an hour and having me walk the halls for half an hour, they hooked me back up to machines to monitor my contractions once more. They said I was just about 4 centimeters dilated and my contractions were steady, closer and stronger. Though, I didn't need a machine to tell me that though. I could FEEL it!

The contractions were not too bad, though I didn't know what you were supposed to feel like, I could tell that they were not at their peak for pain. I got admitted into a hospital room at around five o'clock on April 8th.

Once in the room, it felt like time went from passing extremely fast to awfully slow. Once my contractions started to worsen, the time seemed to pass slower. My husband was by my side the entire time. During each contraction, he would grab my hand and breathe with me, coaching me and encouraging me. I lasted with the contractions for seven long hours. Every contraction that passed, the next one was a little longer and a little worse. After a while, the pain was so excruciating that I could barely breathe. All I could do was sob after each one. And when I said I can't go on anymore, my husband would read me an encouraging scripture and lift me up. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" was the verse we would repeat through every surge of pain. I kept trudging trough each contraction, saying a prayer in my mind with each one.

Finally, after seven hours, I asked for an epidural. The pain was like nothing I had ever felt before. It was as if I was being cut open with no pain killers. When the anesthesiologist arrived with the massive needle, I was frightened, but more than that, I just wanted the pain to end.

The hardest thing I had to do was remain PERFECTLY still as he put the needle in my back. It wouldn't have been so hard if it wasn't for the two contractions I had to suffer through, being a statue. I hunched over the pillow on my lap and rested my arms and head on my husband who knelt down in front of me and held me. The only way I was able to make it through each contraction without moving an inch was to repeat all the things I was thankful for. Good and bad. Like, "thank you God for the pain. Thank you God for the contractions. Thank you God for my husband. Thank you God for my baby..." And I would whisper those things, repeating them again and again until the contraction was over.

The epidural started working almost immediately. It affected the left half of my body first, so I was still in pain on my right side, but after about an hour, my entire lower body was numb and I was completely pain free. I was praising and thanking God... As well as the anesthesiologist. Haha.

The next few hours were wonderful. My family was right beside me and I had no pain. I was able to bask in my last moments of pregnancy and appreciate the unconditional love my husband was pouring on me. He was so amazing through the entire thing. We prayed, he read encouraging scripture to me, he kissed me and loved on me. I could not have asked for a better person to stand by my side since day one of my pregnancy than my husband, Michael Kelley.

Soon, it was time to push. When the nurse told me that, my initial response was panic. Not fear of the pain, (because i couldn't feel anything,) but fear that I wouldn't be able to do it and panic that "this is really happening!" Since my lower body was numb, I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to feel when to push or I wouldn't be able to push hard enough and I might injure my baby. That fear mixed with my anxiety in the fact that the time was finally here was overwhelming!

It was time. Each push was hard. It was not painful, but it was tiring. As if I was pushing a car up a hill. With each push, my husband cheered me on. I had never seen him so excited before. Once he saw the head of his baby boy, I thought he might have a permanent smile on his face with how big he was grinning. It was amazing to have such wonderful support from him and my mother who was on the other side of me, both helping me to push. After a while, I got the hang of it and began to feel when I should push without having to be told. Push after push, I finally felt him come out. The doctor immediately placed him on my stomach and I saw my son for the first time. Tears of joy dripped from my face. My baby boy was finally here! I did it! Michael and I were in awe. As dirty and strange as he looked, he was perfect. When he looked at us with his dark, new, pure eyes. We were hooked. It was the moment we had always imagined. Our son was here.

That was the day I will remember for the rest of my life. It was the most perfect day I have ever had every thing went as smoothly as it could. God was in complete control and I give ALL the glory to Him. Without Him there with us, the day would not have been the same. Thank you Jesus for giving me such a perfect and wonderful life and new family.

Xoxo,

"What Do You DO All Day?"

I'm going to start off my first blog with a vent...

Being a mom is hard. not only is being a mom hard, but a Stay-AtHome mom is hard. why? you ask. first off, if you had to ask "why," it's either because 1. you are NOT a stay-at-home mom, 2. you do not have children and/or you are not married, 3. you are a man. 

people say, "being a stay-at-home mom must be the easiest job in the world. you get to sit on the couch all day, watching tv (or blogging). you get to do what you want, go where you want and play with your babies all day! what could be better?"

HA!!!

being a SAHM (Stay-At-Home Mom) isn't all it's cracked up to be. let me tell you me normal routine:

-wake up early from a crying baby

-change diaper

-make a bottle

-MAYBE get another hour of sleep if it's before 5am

-wake up again

-feed baby cereal

-make coffee for mommy

-play (i.e. tire baby out for his morning nap)

-make another bottle

-put baby to sleep

-finally drink coffee (though it's cold)

-reheat coffee

-make breakfast for mommy and daddy

-feed husband

-feed myself

-drink coffee (it's cold again)

-reheat coffee

-get baby up from his nap

-change diaper

-make bottle

-put baby in play room

-reheat coffee (not even trying it first this time)

-clean up kitchen

-play with baby (work on new skills)

-put baby down for short nap

-reheat coffee

-sit and drink half the cup

-clean up baby toys

-clean other rooms in the house

-sit for a few minutes

-get baby up from his nap

-change diaper

-feed him lunch

-clean up baby's lunch

-mommy eat lunch

-clean up lunch

-make bottle

-put baby in play room

-hide in the bathroom for silence

-pour coffee down the drain (knowing i'll never actually finish it.)

-start on dinner

........

after that, every night is a little different depending on my husband's schedule... but you get the picture. i don't just sit on my butt all day long. and when i DO sit, it's because i need to crochet. (i sell baby hats online to make a little extra money for the family.)

so, probably the WORST thing someone can say to a SAHM is "what do you DO all day?"

if you are a SAHM, you can relate.

i would love for you to comment and tell me what YOUR Stay-At-Home Mom experiences are and what bugs you when people say "that must be easy."

Much Love, 

Mama Kelley