Mama Kelley: life

This is a poem i wrote. it's a little sloppy but it gets the point across.

Open Your Eyes
By: Abigail Kelley

Natural is flawless.

To cover up is to hide

Too fat, too thin, too in-between

Is perfect in His eyes.

Starvation is not a third world problem

Self-harming is now a religion

Depression results in the mausoleum

Although we’ve been forgiven

The media is our guide

To what life should be like

We nip and tuck and cut, cut, cut

Till our blood has run dry

Hollywood is paradise,

Models are the gods

The magazine is the new bible

In which we base our life on

Running our world

Around a fake façade

The imagery and false skin

Is what we desperately try to be in

Knowing it’s false

Knowing the truth

We swallow the lies

And preach it to our youth.

It’s time to open our eyes

What’s inside of our young girls

It’s time to realize

It’s not just about the prettiest curls

It’s a fight to the death

The death to oneself

Who can eat the least

To be the prettiest on the shelf

Open your mind

See what’s infecting

Your precious daughters

That the grave is collecting

Tell them they’re beautiful

Say that they’re perfect

Get into their lives

And tell them they’re worth it

Perfection is a disease

That’s infecting the souls

Of our perfect daughters

And flawless girls

The media lies

Beauty is within

Tell them to be comfortable

In their skin

For they were wonderfully made

By the hand of God

If you tell them they’re perfect

You might be the only one.

This is something i constantly try to stress to people. as a woman who, as a teenager, struggled a LOT with self harm, depression and bad body image, this os something that weighs heavy on my heart. being depressed and having low self esteem is not just "teen angst" or "hormones." it's real. it's something almost ALL women and girls struggle with.

If you've read my last post you will know my thoughts and where i stand on the whole "Thinspo" thing and bad body image. we constantly compare ourselves to what we see in the media. to the false portrayal on what we are supposed to look like. the media, the models, the photoshop experts... they're deceiving each and every one of us, saying that if you don't look like this, you're not beautiful.

however, as stated in my last post, you can see that the photos are fake. they're photoshopped. thighs are trimmed. waists are thinned. bottom is tightened...etc. not even the models look like what they want to. and if they do, they are starving themselves to achieve it.

our girls today are doing the same thing. go in Instagram and look up #skinny or #thin or #thinspo. you'll see the horrific images that young girls are posting. here are just a few.

This is the real world.

the end of my poem says it all.
tell her she is beautiful, because you might be the only one in her life to ever say it.

I was asked by one of my Instagram mommy followers to write something for her blog. she is presenting funky, inspirational mama's.

click the link to read more about her:

So here is it.

--Who are you?

my Name is Abigail Joy Kelley. Most people call me Abby, though i hate that. the only people who i feel are allowed to call me Abby are my family and friends from high school. it was my name as a child, but now that i'm older, i want to put the past in the past and "start fresh" so i'd like people to call me by my REAL name, Abigail.

i am 23 years old (though i still feel like i'm 18 sometimes.) i am married to my best friend in the whole world and we have a baby boy, Oliver who is a little over a year old.

--What is your inspiration?

Honestly, i don't truly have one inspiration. i am inspired by everything this world has to offer. sometimes is a musician who inspires my music writing/playing. or a person i meet who inspires me to do certain things. or it's a work of art that inspires me to create. pretty much anything can inspire me. i think most of all though, it would be #1, my God. who inspires me to be the best version of myself i can be and to truly love others like He asks of me. and #2, my husband. who always inspires me to be a better wife and a better person.

--What is the most beautiful thing about your typical day?

well, #1, when i go into my sons room when he wakes up and he smiles at me and holds me tight.

#2, when my husband comes home after a long day and he holds me tight as well.

--What else is your passion besides your family?

my passion besides my family would definitely be music. i have always been in love with music. listening to it, creating it...whatever. i write my own music a lot and i play guitar and a little piano. my absolute favorite passion is singing. more than any instrument, i love to sing.

i currently lead our church's worship team. Also, my husband and I write music together. he plays bass, guitar and drums. we've been in the process of getting a good chunk of songs written together to play somewhere

--Do you have a business besides your momma job?

I do crocheting on the side through my Etsy account. (www.etsy.com/shop/abigailkelleydesigns) it's just to bring in a little extra money for the home. i have a wonderful husband who is willing to work over full-time to support us.

--Where do you live?

I live in Prescott, Arizona (USA) it's a beautiful, peaceful neighborhood in the forest mountains. We live in a two story home with our best friends Robb, Britt and their baby boy Elijah.

--How is it going with your baby these days?

It's...going. haha. Oliver, my beautiful baby boy is now 14 months old and he is...well... a toddler. The good things are that he has an insane personality. i don't know where he comes up with some of the things he does. his facial expressions are priceless and he lives to make others laugh. on the downside of becoming his own person, he is crying for everything and starting to throw fits. if you tell him "no," he will hold his breath, turn bright red, puff out his chest/or fall backwards then scream. yeah......that's fun when you're in public. and whats worse is that i ignore him. it's the best thing i can do when he throws a tantrum but when we are in public, all i get are nasty stares for allowing my child to freak out. i just know if i pay attention to it, he will only scream more. oh motherhood... haha.

--Do you have a special item in your house that means a lot to you?

not really. i am very sentimental...and a packrat. so i keep a lot of things that i think are "sentimental." haha.

--Which place are you daydreaming about and why?

the beach... always the beach. me and my husband had our first getaway two weeks ago without Oliver. it was 3 days ad we went to California to the beach and clubs. it was MUCH needed but it was hard for me to leave my little guy at home with grandma for 3 days. it was the longest i had ever been without him. though, now that we've done it... I'm itching to do it again. ha. parents need a break every once in a while.

--Who gives you power, and strength and hope in your life?

My awesome God. Jesus. He is my saviour and everything i do, i do for Him. i wouldn't be where i am in my life today if it wasn't for His never ending grace. He loves me even through all the awful things i have done in my past and He gives me strength to live each day.

--What inspires you about other mothers?

Probably their patience and their utter love for their children. i see mothers going places with their kids, signing up for mommy and me classes, playing in the living room at home, snuggling on the couch... and i just wish i would do more of that. i am a SAHM and i obviously love my life and my son, but every now and then, i notice that I'm not spending enough time with my son. i nee to get better at that. i respect the mothers who can sit there with their baby all day long, never taking a moment for themselves. (though i know all moms need a break,) but when you have five children hanging all over you and you're still playing and laughing... i respect that!

--What is your dream?

my dream has always been to be a mother ultimately. and I've achieved that. though i guess my next dream would be to be able to do something musically in the world. play shows. tour. write music. make an album. something to that effect.

--What do you do in a difficult moment?

Pray. always pray. it's the only real thing that works.

--Can you give us some wisdom our way?

Support your husband/partner. Be patient with your children. Be happy with whatever is thrown your way. and Love your life.

--What inspires you about motherhood and about other mommies?

being able to care or another life is beautiful. knowing that i am responsible for who Oliver is going to be is a heavy burden but it is also the one thing that inspires me every day to be the best that i can be for him.

Here are some photos for s a little glimpse into my life...