When You're With Them, Be WITH Them.

"This has got to be one of the hardest habits for me to break."

let me start off by saying, i love my son more than anything. he is my world. but being 10 months old, sometimes he's not all that "exciting" to be around. I'm not the kind of mom who sits and plays with her baby all day long, 24/7. he has his alone playtime, and i have mine. but when i AM playing with him, i am noticing more and more that I'm not actually WITH him. This has got to be one of the hardest habits for me to break.

Computers, Social Media, iPhones, TV's... yes, we love all of these things and sometimes, being a SAHM these things mean our sanity. but how often are we using these things when we should be with our children?

i am SO guilty of this! When I'm playing with Oliver and he's not being the best "entertainer," i find myself pulling my phone out of my pocket and going on Instagram or checking my Facebook. i figure, "Well I'm still in the room; I'm still sitting on the floor next to him; that works for our "together time."

NO WAY!

when you're with you children, be WITH them.

this has been very hard for me to learn but it is SO important to remember.
it is extremely easy to turn on the TV for you or your child so it makes your playtime with them easier. or to sit your baby down on the floor and check your e-mail or Facebook.

sometimes i even find myself taking pictures of Oliver being cute (as usual) and it's totally harmless, but when i sit there for ten minutes editing the picture and posting it on my Instagram and then continuing to scroll through my news feed... that's when it becomes wrong.

one day i was feeding him his breakfast and he was taking forever to chew each bite (even though he has no teeth yet) so i pulled out my phone and started scrolling through my news feed to waste time while Oliver was chewing. he then grunted and took my phone out of my hands and threw it on the ground. MY 10 MONTH OLD!!

yeah, that hit me hard!

since i don't dedicate my ENTIRE day to playing with my son one on one, i OWE him my full attention for that one hour. at LEAST!

just some food for thought. i'm not saying get rid of your phones or TV, (those things come in HANDY when you're a parent.) I'm just saying to take an hour out of your day and leave your phone in another room and keep the TV off and just play with them. (or talk, if your kids are older)

Much Love
xoxo,

Remember: "You're A Good Mom"

I recently commented on a post from a dear Instagram mom friend. she basically feels like she isn't a good enough mom to her baby boy and that she constantly compares her life to other "super-moms" on Instagram saying, "I'm not good enough, I'm not as good of a mom..." and, me, having a lot to say on the matter, commented a novel to her. ha. 

well, here are my thoughts on that...

I think, if you're comparing your life to other mom's, you're a good parent. now, I'm not saying that it's GOOD to compare yourself, or that it's necessarily RIGHT; I'm just saying that if you are, then you must want to do better. and being a parent, you can always try to do and be better. Your children are worth it. they deserve to have the BEST version of you all the time. 

Though, comparing yourself isn't always a good thing. you can look at other moms and how they raise their children and aspire to be like them... but if you are constantly comparing yourself to them by means of cutting YOURSELF down, then i think that's detrimental to your self-esteem, your confidence in your parenthood an yourself as a person. you can aspire to be "like" someone else without getting down on yourself.

So don't "compare" your life to someone else's, but use them as an "inspiration" for you to do better. 

I find myself comparing my life and my style of parenting to other moms ALL the time. now, it's not just moms i know in person, but mostly moms i follow on sites like Facebook or Instagram. i see these photos or status updates they post and i think, "wow, their life is perfect!"

CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP!!

yep, that's all crap.

no one's life is perfect. see, comparing my life to someones Instagram life is pointless. people only post the photos of the happy moments in their lives. or the pictures where mom and baby are smiling, or doing activities together or playing, etc. no one posts what actually happens in their home. that mom you so desperately want to be like, well she isn't going to stop to take a picture of the time she bangs her baby's head on the door jam. or the moments where she hides in the bathroom, leaving baby to fend for himself, praying he won't get into anything TOO dangerous. or when her and her husband are fighting and screaming profanities at each other. or even the times when she wasn't sure how to properly feed or take care of her baby. 

see, people only post photos of their "highlight-reel" of life. the moments that bring a smile or laugh to someone. not the knitty-gritty things you don't want anyone to know about. 

If you are someone who gets down on yourself for not being a "good enough mom" or not being able to be "like someone else," remember that the person you're trying to measure up to, has faults too. you just can't see them. (ESPECIALLY on social media.)

if you look at my Instagram feed, (located on my home page) you'd think my life is pretty perfect. but all those above things i mentioned... those are MY mom experiences. (some of the better ones. ha) i sugarcoat my life online just like anyone else. 

there is a VERY high possibility that the Instagram mom you wish you could measure up to, is most likely thinking the same thing about your "highlight-reel" and wishing she could have your perfect life. 

Just remember, you ARE a good enough mom. just do what you believe is right and try not to get down on yourself. if you're doing the best that YOU know how to do, then that's where you need to be. 

xoxo,